First Week Completed

So we have had the wood stove going all week (because our heating unit is stupid) so the entire house is almost unbearably hot  (but its better than freezing to death while paying a $275 heating bill). And the hubby and I are laying in bed,  I have on shorts and a sports bra (normal sleeping attire) and I was pushing my stomach up and down (to make myself look pregnant, weird I know) and my sweet husband blurts out "So when are you going to start using that machine we paid for?"

Umm. Ouch.

So now my feelings are beyond hurt, I had already set my alarm for 5:45 to get up to workout but I just turned over and said tomorrow. Then he tries to cuddle which he always does when he knows I'm upset and I push him off saying its too hot. Then after I while I tell him, you know you said that shitty. And then of course we get into the whole you know I didn't mean it, but it still hurt situation. Eventually we go to sleep and I dream about marrying other guys all night but then I wake up and know that I already married my Mr. Perfect. Doesn't stop me from not speaking to him while I was getting ready for work though because hey he made the comment. Of course he did go and crank up my car while I was getting ready and I gave him and extra long kiss good bye so we are good now.

But still. I was reflecting onto why that comment hurt me so much. First off, I was playing with my stomach when he made the comment, like thats what inspired him to make it so that was hurtful because while every woman complains to their husband about being fat, nobody wants him to confirm it and that's basically what happened there. Secondly, we had a big argument before we got the elliptical about that it wasn't going to become a coat rack like most people's do. And here it was a week since we put it together and I'd only used it once. (In my defense, I'm still getting used to getting up early plus it has been difficult with the wood heater)

So yes, he was justified for asking and I will admit that I slacked this week. My first big goal is to lose 40 lbs by Memorial Day which will average about 10lbs/month for the next four months. I know I am going to have to push myself but even if I only love 20lbs that will put me back under 250 which is going to be a great feeling.

Day 1

So Friday had finally arrived and with it my elliptical, (yay!) but normally on Fridays we have more of a casual day at work but we had some big-wigs come in so it was yet another day in my super cute new 3.5" Nude Patent Nine West Pumps (thank you Marshall's!) Of course anytime I wear a heel to work over 2" I wear my Dr. Scholl's High Heel Inserts which are divine to say the least. After work Nathan picked me up and we went over to a friends house and ordered pizza then went to another friends house so the husbands could all play beer pong while the wives sat around gossiping. Eventually though it turned into quite the dance party and let me tell you, while my feet weren't hurting, my muscles definitely were. We are a colorful bunch so we were all showing off our best "stripper moves" and doing little belly dance moves with bent legs while basically standing on the balls of your feet, needless to say my thighs, they were a-burning.

This group of friends we have, Nathan works with all the guys but three of the guys live all within 5-10 min of each other while Nathan and I have about a 30 min drive to where they live. So Saturday, we did a lot of laying around until we went back over (now to the third guys house) to cook some steaks and sing karaoke. This was a lot of excursions for Nathan and I, but we did make one of our resolutions to get out more. Sunday arrived all too quickly and we finally got a chance to put my elliptical together! We had dinner and I made actual mashed potatoes instead of just using instant flakes, which was pretty much a pain and I know now why my mom always uses instant. Regardless dinner was delicious, Nathan cooked pork chops and I made creamy ranch potatoes, so delicious but unhealthy.

About 2 hours after dinner, I decided to give the elliptical a try. It was pathetic. My legs immediately started screaming under the fat burn program and I took it down from my normal 4 miles an hour to about 2.8 mph and stopped after 15 minutes. In my own defense though I am quite tall and it does have a shorter stride than I am used to giving it more of a stair stepper stride than what i'm used to. Plus my legs were still sore from Friday. So first workout down and at least I did something. (No matter how slow you go you are still lapping everybody on the couch) My goal was to get up this morning and get in about 30 minutes before work and I was actually mostly awake but I my brain says, no go back to bed. I just have to remember: "It's easier getting up every morning and working out than looking in the mirror everyday and not liking what you see." But going to make myself do at least 30 minutes tonight and pushing for 45. My goal is to do 30 min in the morning and 30 min in the evening or at least 4 miles everyday. But its been a while since I worked out and I just have to remember to go slowly and always STRETCH!

A step toward success!

Yesterday the hubs and I went to Richmond as kind of a date day now that hunting season is finally over. Of course we went to Bass Pro where I wandered around pretty aimlessly while he spent $175 on fishing lures (via giftcards thankfully). Then we drove back to Colonial Heights and went to the mall to get a new him a new wedding ring since he had LOST his the Friday after Christmas while hunting. While we there the Kay's people brought up a lot of different options such as their 90 day return policy and the fact that even after 90 days, they would have exchanged the rings out for $20 when the first time we bought his ring, all they told us was that we couldn't get the triton rings resized. Would have been very helpful to know the first time around.

However, we did get to go by Sears and I finally got to buy my elliptical! I'm so excited for it to get in which it will on the 18th and the hubs has already said he would go pick it up and put it together since he is off that day (provided I take the Christmas tree down, of course). So that is a step in the right direction and I already have my workout schedule worked out for when it does come in and I can't wait to get started on my "curves"!

Finding What Works For You

If you are like me, I'm sure that you have been down this weight loss journey before. Trying several different methods too I'm sure. Nathan and I have tried P90X several times before, but we never did it correctly, certain workouts or exercises we didn't like we just skipped, I don't think he has ever done more than 10 min of yoga. But I have no doubt that it would work if followed correctly. But here is my problem:  It sikes you out.

When we were doing it, it was a daily struggle to push play, because you knew the ass kicking you were about to have. Once you got started you struggled your way through the warm-ups and attempted your best to do the workouts (i had a lot of modifications) and you survived (sort of). I would make every excuse in the book to not do the workouts though. It was all a mental thing. I knew how terrible it was going to be and my brain said nope. So my solution was to workout my way.

I could easily make myself go to the gym, and tell myself just do 15 minutes. Thats all. Once I was there and got moving though, the endorphins would kick in and I would be there for an hour, working my butt off (literally) on the elliptical. And then do a couple weights just for the heck of it. You can't do that with P90X. You can't push play and tell your brain, oh its just some light jogging, no biggie today, I know you are tired. And to me that was more detrimental to my workout than anything.

I think that to continue with an exercise regimine, you have to find something that works for you. A lot of times I think people give up on exercise because they haven't found their workout yet. So How many different ways did you try before you found your dream workout?

Getting Started

So today starts my new weight loss regime. I have made a few goals, based on a weekly weight loss of about 2 lbs. (keep it healthy) with a total weight loss of 100 lbs.

Current weight: 260 lbs

Ultimate Goal: 160 lbs

I had thought about making my goal 170, but I figured why not, go for an even 100. So here are a couple of my goals broken down, which I am calling my checkpoint goals:

Mini Checkpoint goals:

Christmas Day: down 5 lbs

Valentines Day: down 20 lbs

Easter: down 32 lbs

Cinco de Mayo: down 44 lbs

Memorial day: down 48 lbs 

Fathers Day: down 55 lbs

July 4th: down 60 lbs

My birthday (Aug 24th): 76 lbs

1 year Wedding Anniversary (Sept 15th): 82 lbs down

Halloween: down 90 lbs

Thanksgiving: down 100 lbs!




Major Goals:

Valentines Day: 240  Because everyone wants an excuse to get dolled up and have a romantic dinner with their husband. I would like to do it in this LBD that hasn't seen action in a while.
            
Memorial Day: 212 lbs   First "lake day" of the year, have to be bikini ready

July 4th: 200 lbs  Major Lake Day, you will see everbody today and they will all see you. Plus its the 200 lbs mark, which I just really want to break.

Vacation: 178 lbs  On my honeymoon I only went out to the pool once and only because there were a bunch of senior citizens in bikinis and I knew I had to look better than them, chunky or not. This year I want to show my husband, how proud I am to be his trophy wife.

Halloween: 170 lbs  I haven't dressed up for Halloween the last 3 years because I couldn't find a "hot" outfit that fit. I want to be the hottest wife at the Halloween party this year. Not the fat girl who didn't dress up.

Thanksgiving: 160 lbs:  This is my final goal. I know its weird to pick the biggest food holiday of the year but I want to just acknowledge how thankful I will be once I accomplish my goal, and even if I don't accomplish it, I know that in time I will because of the support of my family and friends.

My Background

So here goes nothing.

I am a 24 year old, 5'10" broad shouldered, big boned young women. I have been skinny but I have never been small. In high school at around 150 lbs, my hips bones used to stick out at least an inch and I had very prominent collar bones. I was also pretty muscular though which didn't help out my "linebacker shoulders" very much. I played volleyball, and did colorguard in the band in the fall and played bass clarinet in the spring. I was always very active but with a particular fondness for long naps. I was so used to a hectic schedule that by senior year, I had contracted mono, and didn't even know it until my tonsils started turning white. The doctor asked if I had noticed any unusual tiredness, to which I replied, I'm always tired, but thats been the norm for the past 4 years.

So that really started my weight gain, I was put on immediate bed rest for the next week, and ordered no physical activity during that time. I put on 20 lbs that much. I guess which goes to show you how much no physical activity affected my body, considering I ate a lot of food daily to keep up with the calories I was burning, until I wasn't burning any and just kept eating the same. The next year I went to Virginia Tech and was introduced into some amazing food that I have never had acess to before. I think I only put on around 10 lbs, nothing too noticeable. The next year I moved off campus and started living alone. Sophmore year I was up to around 200 lbs. Easily the biggest of my friends but I didn't feel fat. I felt sexy. My favorite phrase at the time was Dangerous Curves ahead. My friends were sticks, one had boobs but nothing else going for her, the other had a butt but she was still stick straight. Whereas I was like Kim Kardashian with a small gut. All hourglassy and wonderful. I loved that time. We went out a lot and just had a blast.

Then I got in a relationship with a guy from back home, who loved my curves, told me I needed to put on weight so I would get a bigger butt (real winner, I know) so I did. I put on another 15-20 lbs, but not in the right areas. My face was most noticeabley fatter. Then we broke up and I spiraled. I couldn't make myself let go of the situation, this manipulative person who had talked their way into my life with their smooth words and compliments was suddenly the entire focus of my existence. And I tried to fight my way back into his life.  My mom told me she thought I was depressed. And I was. But I told her she was crazy and didn't speak to her for 2 weeks.  This continued on for quite some time, until I met my husband during Thanksgiving break my senior year. And things were wonderful, but I was still in my own web of depression, and it took until my super senior year to figure out what the problem was. I took an online survey and it said that I needed to see a counseler, because it was most likely I was depressed.

So then started a new life of counseler visits and trying to graduate, which I finally did in June 2011.  In all that time my weight fluctuated quite a bit I had even gotten lost 20 lbs my super senior year, but I was still only 220 lbs. After graduation of course, I came home to mom's cooking every night, whereas I had lived off salads mostly for the past few months, Nathan and I got engaged and a year later we were married on September 15, 2012. So here I am a happy newlywed, but the one thing that makes me unhappy is my weight. I am now at 260 lbs, where I have been holding steady for almost a year now.