Tired of Being Tired

So I have started keeping a daily journal that I carry around with me. I want to use it to track what I eat and I know that there are a gazillion fitness aps out there that do the same thing but I love to write and I hate not getting to really express myself and pour my heart into my feelings through my pen.

I have also started grading myself based on workouts and nutrition daily. Yesterday I got a D because I didn't work out and I drank Sweet Tea all day long instead of just at dinner. I also am trying to get in 24 oz of water before lunch and 24oz after lunch before I go home for the day. I knew a girl in college that carried a gallon water jug around with her. When asked why, she says it motivates me to drink because the more I drink, the less heavy it will get. Now this girl had maybe 12 % body fat on her. She was ridiculously fit. But I thought how awesome it was that even people who are in that kind of shape have to find creative ways to motivate themselves.

My current motivation has been typing in Summer on Pinterest and just looking at everything. From skinny girls in bikinis to a book laying in the grass. Those things to me just encompass summer and one thing I have missed is not feeling the freedom to just go outside and enjoy a summer's day because I'm not comfortable in my clothes. My shorts are too tight or too short but I refuse to buy those ones that go down to my knees because I just don't want too. When it's hot, my shirt clings and gets stuck in my rolls so that I'm constantly pulling at it. And its just a vicious cycle that I am tired of.

I want to be able to play cornhole on the beach in my bikini and not be completely self conscious. So that's my fight right now. I'm tired of being tired of it all. I don't want to deal with it anymore and as we are going to be moving into this new house I would love it if my neighbors didn't meet me as a fat person. Due to my body frame (which I am completely blessed with) An extra 20 or 30 lbs doesn't sit on me the way it would on my mother. I'm 5'11" with a broad frame and while she and I are both overweight, she weighs less than me but looks bigger because she is only 5'4".

So there it is: I'm tired of being tired of being fat. So I won't be anymore. So there.

Back from Hiatus

February was ridiculous for me personally. I planned a suprise party for my husband (which I will never do again because I laugh when I lie which is a dead giveway but it still turned out okay). The next weekend we had the field trial for hubbys Hunt Club, the next weekend, I went and stayed with a friend in Richmond for the VA Wine Expo AND in the midst of all that, we are in the process of buying a house. And by in process I mean, we put in a bid, they accepted, we have put in our information to the bank for the loan and we are just waiting to hear back on everything. They told us though that it would be 3-4 months before we close so we expect to start moving in in June.

So that was my crazy month. I had made some updated goals in February that I am trying to stick with but the first goal is coming up super fast which is how I came up with my new workout regime, Here are the goals:

St Patty's Day : 250lbs -only 12 days away! YIKES!
Earth Day : 240 lbs
Memorial Day :230 lbs - This also marks the first lake outing so its super important
July 4th: 220 lbs- Second big lake outing
August 4th: 210 lbs
Sept 15th: 200 lbs- This is our 1st Wedding Anniversary and We will be on Vacation too.
Halloween: 190 lbs
Thanksgiving: 180 lbs
Christmas/New Years: 170 lbs

So here is my daily schedule:
On MWF I will do cardio in the morning and a P90X weight lifiting and Ab Ripper workout in the afternoon. On Tues and Thurs I do cardio in the morning and in the afternoon. On Saturday I do Yoga. It basically follows the P90X plan except that I do a different cardio than they do and I do the extra cardio workout in the morning. I love the workouts the trouble is always pressing play which is why I have been trying to get my husband to join me but he isn't very motivated so he never says, hey are we going to work out now?